It's late February, and a new film hits the screens in which a character gets out of jail and meets up with a group of other criminals, led by a maniacal madman.  They successfully rob a casino, but the two Alpha males end up butting heads because of the money and a girl.  No, you're not having a flashback to 2000's Reindeer Games (which was released exactly one year ago).  The new film is 3000 Miles to Graceland, and it probably would have been a direct-to-cable release if it weren't for the cast.

Graceland features two male leads that have 15 Razzie nominations between them.  Kurt Russell (Soldier) plays Michael, a Jersey baddie who has just been popped from the pokey and is on his way to Las Vegas to meet up with Murphy (Kevin Costner, Thirteen Days) and his band of miscreants (Christian Slater, Bokeem Woodbine and David Arquette), who are planning to knock off a casino.  The heist has been coordinated around "Elvis Week" at the Riveria, and each of the five men dress like The King to, theoretically, blend into the background.

But they hardly keep a low profile.  People are still going to notice five men purposefully marching across a casino floor, whether they're dressed as Elvis or not.  Punching a guy out probably wouldn't be high on the list of things to do if you're trying to go undetected, but don't tell that to this think tank.  They get their loot and also get involved in a big shoot-out that proves The Brother Rule is in full effect and that guns never need to be reloaded.

You know right away which character you're supposed to root for after seeing Murphy carelessly blow away innocent people, while the more gentle, caring Michael opts to use his brains to avoid violent clashes with police and casino security.  They get split up, but each knows where the other is headed, so the rest of the film is kind of a road picture where Michael and Murphy try to out-con each other to get their hands on the money.  Courteney Cox (Scream 3) plays a sex-hungry single mom who is either in love with Michael or just out to get the casino cash (she appears Arquette-less in the credits).

If you had a black pompadour and long sideburns, and there was a nationwide manhunt for two men who looked like Elvis, wouldn't you cut your hair and shave even if you weren't involved in criminal activity?  The thought never crosses the minds of Michael or Murphy, and that's just one of several things that don't make sense in Graceland.  The film was helmed by music video director Demian Lichtenstein, who co-wrote the script with first-timer Richard Recco.  The technical standout is George Clinton's score, which isn't really all that great, but compared to the rest of the film it's pure genius.  Like Payback, Graceland is so needlessly violent, Charlton Heston would likely turn his head in disgust at the unoriginal, over-the-top gunplay.  It’s violence for the sake of violence, and completely devoid of style.

Costner, who is like an old, dull Batman villain, has been a much better (and much cooler) robber in A Perfect World, and Russell has been a better Elvis (he played The King in John Carpenter's 1979 television movie).  The best – and most underused – characters were the two federal agents (Thomas Haden Church and Kevin Pollak) trying to track down Michael and Murphy.  And don't get me started on former NFL star Howie Long.  The latent homosexual is only in a handful of scenes, but gives one man an extended hug, sings a Paul Simon song and, in the coup de grace, grabs Costner from behind and grunts like a man in love.

If you get queasy during a Lars von Trier film, this one will probably make you throw up.  Actually, if you've ever even seen a von Trier film, Graceland will probably make you want to throw up anyway.  And the editing here makes Michael Bay look like John Sayles.  There's enough smoking in the film to give you cancer (third-hand smoke?), but there aren't enough pyrotechnics, bullets or modern rock to spackle the giant holes in the plot.

2:03 –

for strong violence, sexuality and language