Anjelica Huston’s directorial debut, Bastard Out of Carolina, was a devastating portrayal of child abuse in a poor Southern family.  The film was so powerful that it either turned your stomach or pissed you off, and in some cases both.  In contrast, Huston’s second film, Agnes Browne, is devastatingly mediocre.  It didn’t quite turn my stomach, but it did piss me off a little.

Unlike Carolina, Huston (Buffalo ’66) tackles duties both in front of and behind the camera, casting herself in the titular role.  Here she plays the dirt-poor widow of a late hotel kitchen employee with seven children in 1967 Dublin.  She can’t afford to bury her recently deceased husband and borrows forty pounds from a loan shark named Mr. Billy (Ray Winstone, The War Zone), agreeing to pay two pounds a week in interest.  With her only viable source of income coming from the operation of a fruit and vegetable stand, Agnes can barely afford to feed her flock, let alone cough up Mr. Billy’s interest.

The oldest Browne child is Mark (Niall O'Shea), who wants to drop out of school to help his mom put food on the table.  Brother Frankie (Ciaran Owens) develops a taste for gambling, while Agnes’ best friend Marion Monks (Marion O'Dwyer) develops a lump in her chest.  Agnes also gets an admirer in the form of Pierre (Arno Chevrier – think of a cross between Gerard Depardieu and “Stuttering John” Melendez), a French entrepreneur opening a bakery near her produce cart.  Throw a Tom Jones concert in the mix and, well, you get a pretty jumbled story.

That’s the main problem with Browne.  The film is based on the Brendan O'Carroll novel “The Mammy,” which was, in turn, based on an old serial radio program.  Browne is simply five or six scripts from the radio show scrambled together, which makes the ending seem particularly silly, since all of the plots are neatly tied up with (mostly) positive resolutions across the board.  It shouldn’t – they’re still impoverished and have no solid income.  Try not to giggle when Agnes proudly states to her children, “We’re the Brownes; we stick together.”

Browne certainly isn’t a total waste of time.  There are highlights – Mr. Browne’s funeral procession is comical, while Marion’s conclusion that the lump in her breast is the result of having her first “organism” is downright hysterical.  The acting is decent all-around, with Huston’s effective Irish brogue a high point (she grew up in Ireland).  Browne is a colorful picture, but the slight film just doesn’t seem to be able to get off of the ground.

1:35 – for adult language and mild violence