(Doors unlock
and open. Laughter.)
Tony
Matsorelli
Jesus, that was
a great <bleep> movie.
Tony
Boombatti
Great
<bleep> movie. Funny as
<bleep>.
Tony M.
<Bleep>
Tom Hanks. Now, DeNiro can act.
Tony B.
Yeah.
<Bleep> Tom Hanks. (Starts car.)
Tony
M.
His hand shakes
a little bit and all of a sudden
he’s some great actor? C’mon.
Tony
B.
(Burps.) Hey,
you got a <bleep> toothpick?
Tony
M.
Yeah, I got your
toothpick right here, you <bleep>
<bleep>.
Tony
B.
Jesus, my balls
<bleep> itch like a <bleep>
mother <bleep>.
Tony
M.
What the
<bleep>. Do I look like your
<bleep> mother? I gotta itch your
<bleep> balls for you now? Holy
<bleep>.
Tony
B.
<Bleep>
you. I was just sayin’.
Tony
M.
<Bleep>
your mother.
Tony
B.
You know, even
that little <bleep> Crystal
wasn’t bad.
Tony
M.
<Bleep>
money-lenders. They should stay behind
the scenes.
Tony
B.
<Bleep> A.
Tony
M.
<Bleep> A.
Tony
B.
He ain’t no
<bleep> Pesci, but he ain’t
too <bleep> bad, either.
Tony
M.
DeNiro and
<bleep> Pesci should be in every
<bleep> movie.
Tony
B.
Are you
<bleep> crazy? If DeNiro and
<bleep> Pesci were in every
<bleep> movie together…holy
<bleep>. That would be
<bleep> great.
Tony
M.
<Bleep> A.
Tony
B.
<Bleep> A.
Tony
M.
Hey, didn’t
Crystal sorta remind you of that
lawyer…aww <bleep>,
what’s his name? Alan Berkowitz?
Tony
B.
(Burps again.)
Who?
Tony
M.
<Bleep>
it. I forget his <bleep> name. The
guy that got that other guy off for
whackin’ his wife.
Tony
B.
That’s a
<bleep> great <bleep> lawyer.
Tony
M.
And that
pock-marked guy – who knew he could
be so <bleep> funny?
Tony
B.
What
<bleep> guy?
Tony
M.
That fat
<bleep> guy with the bad skin
that’s always in the Mafia movies.
Kinda looks like you, you fat
<bleep>.
Tony
B.
The fat guy?
Tony
M.
Jesus
<bleep> Christ. You got
<bleep> marinara in your
<bleep> ears?
Tony
B.
No, Tony. I just
don’t know who you’re
<bleep> talking about.
Tony
M.
<Bleep>
it.
Tony
B.
You believe that
a hard <bleep> like DeNiro would
really need to go to a shrink?
Tony
M.
<Bleep>
no. It’s just a <bleep> movie.
The whole premise was that he was nervous
about the big meeting of the heads of all
the <bleep> Families in the whole
<bleep> country.
Tony
B.
Yeah?
Tony
M.
Everybody knows
that we don’t <bleep> meet
like that. If we need to have a sit-down,
we use <bleep> video conferencing
on the <bleep> Internet. We’re
Sicilian, but we ain’t stupid.
Tony
B.
<Bleep> A,
Tony.
Tony
M.
<Bleep>
Hollywood thinks that we would be stupid
enough to meet in a big <bleep>
warehouse with no security.
Tony
B.
Bunch of
<bleep> parasites. You think it was
too much like The Sopranos?
Tony
M.
<bleep>
no. The Sopranos don’t got
DeNiro. It was sorta the same, but
different, too.
Tony
B.
But both
<bleep> great.
Tony
M.
<Bleep> A.
And I gotta hand it to ‘em –
that Godfather dream sequence,
where <bleep> Crystal gets whacked
like Brando, was <bleep>
hysterical.
Tony
B.
That was from The
Godfather? No <bleep>.
Tony
M.
Yeah; no
<bleep>, you <bleep>
<bleep>. And that part where
Crystal turns fed and wears a
<bleep> wire to the sit-down with
DeNiro, but thinks better of it and tears
the wire off in the <bleep>
crapper? <bleep> brilliant.
Tony
B.
<Bleep>
me. I think I missed that part when I
went to the lobby to get more
<bleep> butter on my <bleep>
popcorn.
Tony
M.
You wanna get
something to eat?
Tony
B.
Yeah, I’m
<bleep> starvin’
Tony
M.
Now,
there’s a <bleep> shocker. Fat
Tony hungry. Stop the <bleep>
presses.
Tony
B.
<Bleep>
you. I got a slow metabolism.
Tony
M.
That ain’t
the only thing that’s slow on you,
you fat <bleep> mother
<bleep>.
Tony
B.
(Shouting.) Hey!
(Tires squeal, horns blow.) Stay the
<bleep> out of my <bleep>
lane, you piece of <bleep>
<bleep>!
Tony
M.
<Bleep>
this. (Click, click.) <Bleep> this
guy.
Tony
B.
(Revving
engine.) <Bleep> mother
<bleep>. (Whir of power windows.)
Tony
M.
(Shouting.)
<Bleep> you, you mother
<bleep> son of a <bleep>.
(Repeated gunfire, more squealing tires.)
Tony
B.
Ooh, I’m
<bleep> hit. They <bleep> got
me, Tony. (Loud crash and silence.)
1:47 - 
for lots o' adult language, some adult
situations, violence and brief nudity
