Antwone Fisher is yet another year-end, by-the-numbers, button-pushing biopic, but this one is sub-par even when compared to its sickly, tired brethren. It's a dime-a-dozen film that's being touted as a hit simply because it's Denzel Washington's directorial debut – otherwise, you never would have heard of it.  The mere possibility that this and My Big Fat Greek Wedding might be Oscar contenders makes me physically nauseous.  If that happens, I might have to burn something down.

I guess we're supposed to overlook the dull, formulaic storytelling just because Fisher is based on a true story.  The titular Antwone (newcomer Derek Luke) is introduced to viewers as a serviceman in the United States Navy.  Shortly after said introduction, we watch our protagonist dispense a bathroom beatdown to an unsuspecting shipmate for absolutely no reason.  After a quick trial, Antwone is sentenced to receive three sessions with Navy headshrink Jerome Davenport (Washington, John Q.), whose method of counseling troubled young men involves saying, "Okay, okay," before every sentence.

Antwone refuses to talk at the first session, but eventually begins to open up, which is when we learn about his troubled past.  He was born in a prison, put in an orphanage, and, ultimately, in a foster home where he was the victim of physical, mental and sexual abuse (oooh, that's why we're supposed to like the movie, right?).  In short, Antwone has major abandonment issues, which manifest themselves via violence and the crappy way he treats his new girlfriend (Joy Bryant). 

Two things become obvious very quickly: 1) Davenport likes helping Antwone because he's reminded of himself as a youngster, and 2) Antwone will somehow help Davenport rekindle his dormant marriage.  And when Davenport pushes the reluctant Antwone to attempt to find both his abusive foster mother and his real family, it's pretty obvious how Fisher is going to end, as well.  The only thing mildly interesting here are the flashbacks to Antwone's youth – everything else is just typical, manipulative crap.

If someone were to put a gun to my head and force me to identify something positive about Fisher, I'd have to go with Luke's performance.  It's decent, though certainly not of Oscar quality.  Washington directs the same way he acts – boring, safe, routine, predictable and, apparently, worthy of oodles of unwarranted admiration.  Anyone mentioning this film in the same breath as About Schmidt or Adaptation deserves to have the stuffing pummeled out of them.

1:57 -

for violence, language and mature thematic material involving child abuse