PLANET SICK-BOY MOVIE CAPSULES

The following is a list of things that don’t mean quality: MTV, Mark Paul Gosselaar (Saved by the Bell), movies about college, Thomas Everett Scott (An American Werewolf in Paris) and two hour films that try to be funny but really aren’t. The two previously mentioned boneheads star as freshman flunkies who need to find a suicidal roommate and push him over the edge, thusly earning straight A’s. The opening credits are pretty neat and the closing credits have secret additional footage, but everything in between is a huge waste of film. (1:50 –

for violence, language and bad jokes)

dog park

Bruce McCulloch (The Kids in the Hall) wrote and directed this hysterically sweet romantic comedy that stars Luke Wilson (Home Fries) as a man recently dumped by the girl of his dreams (Kathleen Robertson, Beverly Hills 90210). What’s worse is that he must share custody of their dog Mogley, who ends up in canine therapy because of the split.

He also meets the host of a local children’s show called "Miss Bookworm" (Natasha Henstridge, Species) and is prodded by friends (McCulloch and Janeane Garofalo, Mystery Men) to proceed in a new relationship to get over his ex. Many of the film’s scenes take place in the titular dog park, where the generally childless owners retreat to walk their pooches before and after work. Funny, well-acted and very well-written. McCulloch also directs the upcoming Superstar. (1:31 - for sexuality and language)

Nickelodeon’s popular and long-running cartoon series makes its big-screen debut, and it’s everything you could possibly want – provided that you want to see an exceptionally bland movie. I have always found Doug to be a boring television show and was surprised when I heard that someone forked over a bunch of money to make it into a feature film. Doug Funnie is just plain not funny. He’s a worrywart, constantly anxiety-ridden about his every action and showing an incredible consideration for other people’s feelings. Sort of like a modern Davey & Goliath. Who wants to see that?

Like the TV show, Doug lives in quaint Bluffington, has a dog named Porkchop, is terrorized by a bully named Roger, hangs out with his blue-hued friend and is head-over-heels in love with Patti Mayonnaise. He also occasionally dreams of becoming a superhero named "Quail-Man," a crime fighter that wears a belt on his head and his underpants on the outside of his trousers. Here we find Doug stumbling into an adventure featuring a pollution scandal, the monster that lives in Lucky Duck Lake (named Herman Melville) and his school prom. It’s like watching paint dry. Preceded by a short Donald Duck cartoon. ( – 1:30 for some very mild cartoonish violence)

If you’re familiar with names like Jay Adams and Tony Alva, you’ll probably want to catch this award-winning documentary. And if you haven’t, you should be legally acquired to attend. It’s about the popularization of skateboarding in early ‘70s Santa Monica, it’s very well made, and it features a stunning amount of video and stills of the kids inventing moves you can’t even pull off with Tony Hawk 3. (1:29 -

for language and some drug references)