PLANET SICK-BOY MOVIE CAPSULES

Here’s a story that begs to be retold over and over again – the familiar rags-to-riches tale of a poor lass with mousy brown hair (Drew Barrymore) who gets bullied by her new step-mother (Anjelica Huston) and step-sisters is about as fresh as The Blackboard Jungle being remade three times a year. Biggest complaint – no singing rats, no pumpkin and the Prince Charming is about as boring as watching your Grandpa eat dinner (unless it’s peas). Anjelica gives some great menacing looks and wears fantastic hats that grow taller as the film progresses. (2:01 –

for precious little violence)

Lizzie’s life hasn’t been too great – Mom was beheaded in public, her powerful sister imprisons her, she’s nearly executed and is forced into the failing family business. Kinda makes last week’s Dawson’s Creek seem a little bland, huh? Cate Blanchett (Oscar & Lucinda) stars as the youngest daughter of Henry VIII, who goes from goat to hero in no time when she is reluctantly crowned Queen of an England in utter turmoil. Didn’t somebody famous once say that it wasn’t easy being Queen? Joseph Fiennes (Ralph’s kid brother) co-stars as the bland love interest. The amazing supporting cast includes Geoffrey Rush, Christopher Eccleston, Fanny Ardant and the two Sirs: Richard Attenborough and John Gielgud (2:04 –

for adult themes, sexual situations and a frocky wardrobe)

The best action movie since Face/Off stars Will Smith (Men in Black) as an everyday Joe who has unwittingly come into possession of videotaped proof that a National Security Agent bigwig (Jon Voight) has murdered a U.S. Congressman. Big trouble ensues via a high-powered satellite-tracking device that can apparently tell when you pinch a loaf in your slumber.

Somewhat predictably, Smith loses his job, his wife (an amazing Regina King), his credit cards and, in a hilarious hotel scene, his pants. Things don’t look good for Smith until he teams with a reclusive former Bureau operative (Gene Hackman) in an attempt to get his life back to normal.

There are a ton of great small roles – most notably Tom Sizemore (Saving Private Ryan) as a Mafia boss. The big finale is taken straight from True Romance (which shared both Sizemore and director Tony Scott) but is still a guaranteed crowd-pleaser. (2:07 – for adult language, violence and general paranoia)

In the three years it took from filming to theatrical release, the rumor mills were running overtime, spewing out careless half-truths and other unsubstantiated misinformation. Don’t believe any of it – Tom Cruise doesn’t wear a dress and he and Nicole Kidman do not play sex therapists. While it is loosely based on Arthur Schnitzler’s early 20^th century novella "Traumnovelle," Eyes Wide Shut is a brilliant modern tale of obsession and jealousy.

Cruise (Jerry Maguire) does play a faithful physician, and when wife Kidman (Portrait of a Lady) tells him about an affair that she may have had, the good doctor basically hits the street to try to erase the thought of his wife bumping uglies with another man. The result is sort of a more serious version of Scorsese’s After Hours, with Cruise stumbling in and out of situations that would usually never present themselves to him. Like all of the late director Stanley Kubrick’s films, Eyes could probably use multiple viewings to fully grasp its cinematic beauty. And I loved the repetitive use of the melody from "Musica Ricercata No. 2". (2:35 - for strong sexual content, tons o’ nudity, adult language and some drug-related material)

The latest 2D IMAX film is about people that participate in extreme sports like windsurfing, rock climbing, snowboarding and surfing on forty-foot waves. Although it’s only forty minutes, Extreme gets pretty dull and repetitive (how many times can you watch a person skiing down a mountain?). A film about the making of Extreme would have been much more interesting, and some of the “behind the scenes” footage is shown during the closing credits.

While Extreme’s award-winning soundtrack is fantastic, the rest of the film is littered with laughable personal messages from the athletes. You know, stuff like how they try to connect with the mountain’s energy and becoming one with nature. One guy even talks about his desire for venturing into territory “where nobody else has ever gone.” Dude, how about on your couch in front of your television - like the rest of us.

0:40 – and contains no objectionable material