I caught Evelyn at the same film festival that also featured Peter Mullan's similarly themed The Magdalene Sisters, a devastating film that made the former seem like a laughable television movie of the week (albeit a star-studded one).  Evelyn is corny, schmaltzy and predictable, but still manages to be kind of heartwarming, nonetheless.  It's the perfect kind of film to see when you don't want to use your brain.  At all.

The film takes place in Dublin, Ireland in the early 1950s, and is based, we're told, on a true story.  We see the relatively happy Doyle family's lives turned upside-down when good ol' Mom decides to take off with another guy the day after Christmas (it's like a time-delayed lump of coal in your stocking).  When The Man finds out the three Doyle children are living under the care of their drunken and perpetually unemployed father Desmond (Pierce Brosnan, Die Another Day), they snatch 'em up and deal 'em out to Catholic-Church-run orphanages quicker than you can say, "Fruit of thy womb."  Little Dermot (Niall Beagan) and Maurice (Hugh McDonagh) go to live with the friendly, friendly priests <insert sound of the unzipping of slacks>, while oldest offspring Evelyn (Sophie Vavasseur) is taken away by a coven of fiendish nuns.

The rest of Evelyn proceeds just as you would expect it to, with Desmond finding a woman (Julianna Margulies, Ghost Ship) to help him get his shit together (read: stop drinking and land a job) and, eventually, leading a David vs. Goliath battle against the omnipotent State and omniscient Church. Assisted by a generously supportive band of solicitors (including Aidan Quinn and Stephen Rea), Desmond goes all Rocky on the Irish Supreme Court, losing his first battle but ultimately changing family law in Ireland.  By the way, you can insert your own joke about the Irish Supreme Court, like maybe something about Justices Bushmill, Hannigan, Jameson and Tullamore Dew.

It's fun to see Brosnan play anything but Bond, but his turn here isn't overwhelmingly positive.  For starters, he pronounces "idiot" with a "d" instead of a "j," which is all wrong for someone from Dublin.  Brosnan also has a couple of scenes in which his Desmond sings at a local pub.  It's really Brosnan singing, and it's really unimpressive.  Margulies gets little to do, which makes her role seem like it was written just so Desmond could have somebody to kiss.  Evelyn was directed by Bruce Beresford, a respected director and two-time Oscar nominee who has yet to make a film I've fully enjoyed.  His most recent was Bride of the Wind, and his most recent you've heard of was the dopey Double Jeopardy.  Paul Pender wrote the clunky, predictable script (it's his debut).

1:34 -

for thematic material and language