Give a teenager a reading assignment, and they'll grumble up a storm.  Make a movie out of the same reading assignment, and they'll be breaking down the multiplex door while waving fistfuls of money.  That's the lesson you can cull from the last few years, which has seen more than a few classic works of literature turned into films geared toward teenagers.  Kids don't want to read "Pygmalion" - they want to see She's All That.  I've seen 16-year-olds visibly cringe upon hearing Jane Austen's name, but they'll watch Clueless every time it's on cable.  They can't stand Shakespeare but think 10 Things I Hate About You is a frigging riot.

The latest transformation from neglected classic to teenage tripe is Get Over It, a high-school take on Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream." The thing that separates Get Over It from its ilk is the presence of the original work within the story, although in the somewhat unconventional form of a school musical.  In fact, there's more that a few musical numbers in the film, most of them intentionally awful (I hope – they were written by South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut's Mark Shaiman), starting with the somewhat bizarre opening credits, where pop star Vitamin C lip-synchs The Captain and Tennille's "Love Will Keep Us Together."

Get Over It's protagonist is Berke Lawrence (Ben Foster, Liberty Heights), an integral part of his high school's basketball team along with best friends Felix (Colin Hanks, Roswell) and Dennis (Sisqó…seriously).  Long story short, Berke's girlfriend Allison (Melissa Sagemiller), who he has loved since he was seven, has just kicked him to the curb and started dating an arrogant new student and former British boy band member called Striker (Shane West, Dracula 2000).  Berke is distraught and will resort to anything to win Allison back (the film was originally called Getting Over Allison), but his friends try to get him to divert his attention elsewhere.

Berke sees a big chance to get close to Allison in the school's musical production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" but is a little too dumb to figure out how to learn lines and stuff.  So he gets help from Felix's kid sister Kelly (Kirsten Dunst, Bring It On), who, presumably, has had a crush on him for years.  In case you couldn't see it coming, when the play is cast, Berke plays Lysander, Kelly is Helena, Striker is Demetrius and Allison plays Hermia.  And in case you aren't familiar with "Dream," this all means that Berke is going to have a chance to get back with Allison, but opts to get friendly with Kelly instead.

The story is a simple as they come, and without Shakespeare's prose, can't come close to filling up a 90-minute film.  So how does Get Over It pad its running time?  Mostly with a bunch of sight gags that have absolutely nothing to do with the story.  It's junior-league Farrelly stuff, like a dog who loves to hump things.  There are a few adult characters who are supposed to help with the comedy but end up being nothing but annoying.  Ed Begley Jr. and Swoosie Kurtz plays Berke's seemingly normal parents, but they're also co-hosts of a television relationship show (cue embarrassing on-air moment).  Worst of all is Martin Short, who plays the clueless director of the high school play with about a tenth of the vigor of Corky St. Clair in Waiting for Guffman.

Get Over It was directed by Tommy O'Haver (Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss) – the man responsible for (unknowingly, I hope) unleashing the untalented force known as Sean Hayes on the world.  There wasn't much to Billy's, but it was visually appealing; a talent O'Haver seems to have misplaced.  The script was written by R. Lee Fleming Jr., who wrote She's All That (and didn't star in Full Metal Jacket).  Of the young acting talent, only Dunst is a standout.  Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be enough films like The Virgin Suicides for someone of her age and talent to tackle, leaving only claptrap like this available.

1:34 –

for some crude/sexual humor, teen drinking and language