If you’ve been craving some hot James Cameron action (he hasn’t made a feature since 1997’s Oscar-winning Titanic) and can’t wait until this summer’s Terminator 3, the new 70mm Ghosts of the Abyss might just whet your appetite.  Like James Cameron's Expedition: Bismarck, this large-format film gives staggeringly impressive new visuals, via two tiny ROV robot subs, of the ill-fated 1912 maiden voyage of the largest ship the world has ever seen.  Except this time, it’s in 3D (and it’s mad as hell!).

Cameron and his crew, which includes scientists, Bill Paxton and that giant red-haired guy from Titanic who looks like Harry Knowles (on Harry’s best day), submerse themselves two-and-a-half miles below the surface of the North Atlantic to maneuver Jack and Elwood (the ROVs, which were designed by Cameron’s brother, Michael) through areas of Titanic that would otherwise be inaccessible.  Cameron superimposes “ghosts” of actual passengers over the new images, which is simultaneously bothersome, cool and creepy.  After about a half-hour of this, I began to think, “This is ridiculously trivial,” to which the film responded, as if it could hear me, with particularly disturbing news occurring several thousand miles away.

Abyss is the only IMAX-style flick I wished was a bit longer, even though the 3D images of the underwater wreckage were noticeably flat.  Then again, I could have done without Paxton, who often sounded like he was reading an old Leave It To Beaver script (if I hear someone say, “Gee whiz!” one more time this week, I can’t be responsible for what I do).  I guess they’re saving the mysteries of the C-Deck for the sequel.

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