Based on Ted Hughes’ novel and play of the same name, Giant is set in Rockwell, Maine in 1957, at the height of the "red menace" scare. During a severe storm, several townsfolk witness a strange object falling from the sky. Is it a Russian threat? Is it a Martian invasion? It’s actually a giant, metal-eating robot (voiced by Vin Diesel, Saving Private Ryan) and, even after seeing the entire film, I am still not sure where it came from.

The next day, several cars and tractors appear to have large bites taken out of them, but nobody seems too alarmed except for the young and adventurous Hogarth Hughes (Eli Marienthal, Stiffler’s little brother in American Pie). Hogarth, who was raised on Twinkies and bad "B" movies while his single mom (Jennifer Aniston, Friends) works late at the diner, sets off into the woods with his flashlight taped to the end of his BB gun. He finds the Giant approaching the power station with designs on devouring the entire thing. Of course, he gets electrocuted (he’s made of metal), but Hogarth saves the Giant by flipping the station’s switch to the "off" position.

The next day at school (which features a lesson in "duck and cover"), nobody believes the brainy and outcast Hogarth, who trudges home and is surprised to find the grateful Giant waiting for him with the "off" switch. Realizing immediately that the Giant will be killed if discovered by anyone else (thank God for the "B" movies), Hogarth tries to hide him. Hogarth takes into account both his unpopular penchant for bringing home stray animals and the Giant’s need to feed on metal, and decides to leave him at the area junkyard, which is owned by beatnik scrap metal artist Dean McCoppin (Harry Connick Jr., Hope Floats).

Before long, a Federal agent named Kent Mansley (Christopher McDonald, Flubber) is called to investigate the incident at the power station. He has a long Dick Van Dyke chin, which makes him bad by cartoon standards – a trait instantly recognized by the young Hogarth, who spikes Kent’s ice cream with laxatives, leading to a hilarious diarrhea montage. Kent still notifies his General (John Mahoney, Frasier), who calls in the troops to annihilate the Giant.

A dent in the Giant’s head has left him with a bit of amnesia, apparently forgetting that he is actually a high-tech killing machine, but only when threatened with violence. Hogarth tries to teach him that violence is bad, and although the "be who you want to be – not what everyone else wants you to be" is a little much at times, it is still a lot better than the misery of the musical cartoon. I’ll take the moral over Celine Dion anyday.

1:26 - for fantasy action and mild language