In The Legend of 1900, we nearly get more of the same. It’s a fish-won’t-get-out-of-water tale of a man that lived his life on a luxury ocean liner. Only here, unlike Blast, our protagonist can never muster enough courage to step foot off the vessel. And, like Blast, the film is a bit slight - a legend that offers no real point or moral – but still entertaining.

Tim Roth (Hoodlum) stars as Danny Boodmann T.D. Lemons Nineteen Hundred (or "1900" for short, and "19" for friends) - a name nearly as long as its explanation. A laborer aboard The Virginian discovers an abandoned infant among the confetti and noisemakers used to celebrate the birth of the New Year on the previous evening. The boy was found in a lemon crate, the finder’s name was Danny Boodmann (Bill Nunn, Kiss the Girls) and the year was 1900. Boodmann decides to raise 1900 as his own son, and the gritty bowels of the ship becomes the boy’s first home. Boodmann does not, however, utter the line, "Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that."

As he grows older, 1900 begins to sneak around the boat and witnesses how the other half lives. He is amazed by their flowing costumes, dancing, and, most importantly, elegant music. As 1900 begins some late-night dabbling with the ship’s piano, we learn that he is a musical prodigy capable of performing the most intricate pieces. It’s not too long before the ship’s ritzy upper crust is treated to 1900’s spectacular musical stylings.

Despite having never left the ship, 1900’s reputation as a jazz virtuoso eventually makes land and before long the genre’s inventor, Jelly Roll Morton (Clarence Williams III, The General’s Daughter), comes aboard The Virginian to challenge 1900 to a piano duel. Morton is a contentious prick, insulting 1900 before launching into a fantastically intricate jazz number that thrills the ship’s passengers. 1900 responds with a sweaty performance that would make David Helfgott proud, resulting in one the best moments in cinema that you will see this year. (Incidentally, if the theater doesn’t burst into applause at that point, run – you’re in a room full of zombies). The incident helps to further the legend of 1900 on the mainland, while he is content to repeatedly make the trip from London to New York.

1900 eventually relents to the pressure of record executives and records one song while still aboard The Virginian. The tune is improvised and hauntingly beautiful, but 1900 smashes the master to pieces as he can’t bear to have his music go anywhere without him. The broken record is found in a music store years later by one of 1900’s best friends, Max (Pruitt Taylor Vince, Mumford), who narrates the entire film to the disbelieving elderly owner of a New York music store (Peter Vaughan, An Ideal Husband). Max is concerned for 1900 as The Virginian, which did time during World War II as a hospital ship, is scheduled to be demolished. He is unsure whether his old friend was able to overcome his greatest fear and leave the ship.

The Legend of 1900 is based on Italian novelist Alessandro Baricco’s dramatic monologue and adapted for the screen by Oscar-winning director Guiseppe Tornatore (Cinema Paradiso) – his first in the English language. Ennio Morricone (Bulworth) provides a majestic score and Hungarian Lajos Koltai’s photography is simply exquisite. 1900 has already swept five awards at Italy’s version of the Oscars (Tornatore, Morricone and Koltai, in addition to the production and costume design). And we all remember what happened the last time a popular Italian fable hit our continent, don’t we?

As a side note, I can neither confirm nor deny the fact that Steely Dan’s song "Hey Nineteen" was about Tim Roth’s character. I can also neither confirm nor deny that the name Steely Dan actually refers to Danny Boodmann, who worked in the bowels of the ship, which were made of steel.

2:03 – for adult language