| Remember that FOX
special a few months back - the one where their
crack news crew got permission to bust into some
ancient Egyptian tombs a la Geraldo Riveras
ill-fated Al Capone vault fiasco from the
80s? I had a bad feeling that it was either
(a) staged, as FOX doesnt have the highest
reputation for journalistic integrity, or (b) a
very elaborate commercial for the remake of the
1932 Boris Karloff classic, The Mummy. Although I
dont think it was either (a) or (b)
it was too boring to be staged and the film comes
from FOX rival Universal the television
special was still rather fascinating and will, no
doubt, inadvertently help to fuel big box office
numbers for the action-heavy/story-light
$80-million horror picture.
Written
and directed by Stephen Sommers (Deep Rising),
The Mummy opens about 3000 years in the
past, when some overly jealous Egyptian king
catches his bride with Imhotep, the High Priest
of Osiris (Arnold Vosloo, Zeus & Roxanne).
Imhotep is buried alive with these nasty,
flesh-eating beetles and his tomb is guarded for
centuries and centuries because get this
if he ever comes back to life, he will be
a walking plague on Earth. Which may explain why
he looks a lot like Billy Zane. Maybe they should
have put a poster for The Phantom on the
tomb entrance as well.
Flash
forward to the early part of the 20th
century, when French Legion soldier Rick
O'Connell (Brendan Fraser, Blast From the Past)
stumbles onto a map to Imhoteps evil crypt,
but is eventually run off by its guardians. His
interest is understandably piqued because of the
legend that Imhotep was buried along with his
vast treasures. Unfortunately for OConnell,
most people believe that it is, in fact, just a
legend.
OConnell
is able to hook up with a wacky brother/sister
team that agree to accompany him in his search
for the lost sepulcher. Evelyn Carnarvon (Rachel
Weisz, Chain Reaction) is a bumbling
student of ancient Egypt and her brother Jonathan
(John Hannah, Sliding Doors) is just eager
to get his hands on some riches. Just to liven
things up a bit, there is also a rival group of
grave-robbers that simultaneously begin their
trek with our heroes.
Now,
heres the problem you dont see
the Mummy until about two-thirds of the way into
the film. When hes on the screen, its
really cool, but then he turns back into the
human Imhotep after about two minutes.
Heres another problem Fraser is too
simian to carry a film. People were surprised at
how good he was in Gods & Monsters,
but it was just because he wasnt the star. George
of the Jungle? His six-pack was the real star
of that film. Blast From the Past was in
and out of theaters in two weeks because he kept
his shirt on (he does here, too).
The
Mummy tries very hard to be like The
Raiders of the Lost Ark, but its much
closer to last years corny bore, The
Mask of Zorro. It is a beautiful film, thanks
to cinematographer Adrian Biddle (The Butcher
Boy), and also features some very funny
supporting roles, including Kevin J. O'Connor (Peggy
Sue Got Married) and Dr. Bombay from Bewitched.
Although its trailer gives the indication that
the Mummys presence would be greater and
that the film would offer non-stop special
effects, it can boast only a weak story, a crappy
romance and a running time that is forty minutes
too long.
2:11
for violence
and brief nudity
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