RHINO DROPPINGS

Last time out: The good news is the Rhinos finally scored on the road, snapping a stomach-churning string of 376 goal-less minutes. The bad news is that they’re still unable to come away with a win or a draw when playing away from Frontier. You don’t even want to know how long it’s been since they’ve earned points on the road. Seriously? You really want to know? Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you: 10 games. 10 games! Hasn’t happened since July 18, 2004, when Rochester tipped host Richmond, 1-0. Know how many goals the Rhinos scored during those 10 matches? Five. Know how many they’ve let up? 21. That’s a goal differential of <17> and nine straight road losses. Scary stuff.

Friday’s debacle marked the Rhinos’ first three-match scoreless stretch since August 2001. And two of them were against Puerto Rico, a team that allowed three-plus goals 10 times in 2004. "Yeah," some of you will say, “but the Islanders are a much better team than they were last year.” RD says they’re a little better, but not a playoff team, and you can’t overlook the fact that they’re defensive crew was not even slightly improved from last season, when Toronto scored nine goals against them. The Rhinos just made the Islanders look a lot better. Plenty of excuses were doled out, but there is no reason a playoff-bound team should drop two matches to Puerto Rico. Two weekends ago, Montreal’s two-match Virginia road trip saw them earn four points by scoring just one goal. That’s how they roll. Hey, speaking of Montreal…

Next up: The mighty Impact come to town this Saturday. They have, by leaps and bounds, the league’s best defense, which when combined with Rochester’s kitten-like scoring punch, should result a lot of unhappy fans at Frontier and a fairly spirited post-game call-in show (for those of you who don’t race home to stick your heads in the oven).

Remember when the Rhinos beat Montreal, 2-0, last August? You might also remember that Rochester played a man up for 73 of those 90 minutes, scoring twice right after Adam Braz’s 17^th minute ejection. The Rhinos played two men up for the final eight minutes (plus stoppage time), as well. Take that game out of the equation, and Rochester hasn’t scored a regular-season goal against Montreal in nearly two years (6/28/03), and couldn’t come close to finding the back of the net in either playoff game last season.

Let’s cut the crap and get right to the point: Unless Laurie Calloway, who had two wins and a draw against Montreal in ’04 at Syracuse, has been purposely holding this team back in an attempt to lure the Impact into a false sense of security, it’s going to take a miracle for Rochester to win this match. We’re not talking about a minor miracle, either. A Rhinos win might be accompanied by a blood red sky, the steady boiling of the Genesee River, and the arrival of the four horsemen of the soccer apocalypse (Jimmy Tanner, Viktor Paco, Nasho Kirov, and Nate Daligcon).

Tail of the Tape

3-2-0

Record

1-0-3

3-2-0 (away)

1-0-0 (home)

1.20

GFA

1.00

1.20 (away)

3.00 (home)

0.20

GAA

1.25

0.20 (away)

1.00 (home)

1.00

Goal Differential

<0.25>

1.00 (away)

2.00 (home)

1 win

Streak

2 losses

1 win (away)

1 win (home)

6-2-2

Last 10 matches

3-2-5

5-2-3 (away)

7-2-1 (home)

6-2-3

Head-to-Head

3-2-6

3-0-3 (away)

3-0-3 (home)

6-2-0

May Record*

10-3-5

5-1-0 (away)

5-1-1 (home)

6-2-3

Saturday Record*

15-0-5

5-1-3 (away)

10-0-1 (home)

3-1-0

May/Saturday Record*

6-0-1

3-1-0 (away)

4-0-1 (home)

* - since 2003

Where have you gone, Andy Restrepo? Chris Carrieri scored the match-winner as Richmond downed Atlanta in a tough road win. Mauro Biello assisted on Kevin Wilson’s game-winning goal as Montreal cuffed Toronto, 1-0. You probably remember the Delgado-to-Woolfolk connection for Puerto Rico, but did you see Pat Onstad shutout the high-scoring FC Dallas side, and seems to be coming alive now that his defenders are all falling to various knee injuries (Chris Ronér, then Danny Califf, and now Craig Waibel and Troy Dayak)? Crazy, that.

Here’s the latest installment of the completely unpopular Current Rhinos vs. Ex-Rhinos:

Around the (A-)League: Last week, we talked about Montreal’s penchant for getting opposing players ejected. Well, they up and did it again on Sunday, as Toronto’s Josue Mayard saw red in a 1-0 Impact win over the still-winless Lynx. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s five opponent ejections in Montreal’s last nine matches. RD is giving 3-to-1 odds on Billy Sedgewick being the next victim of this peculiar phenomenon.

The only thing sicker than the line for Portland’s “super-sub” Fadi Afash (four goals on 11 shots in 141 minutes in his last nine regular season appearances…all off the bench), is the one for Colorado’s Jeff Cunningham, who has four goals on seven shots in four bench appearances in just 111 minutes this season.

DC United’s Clyde Simms, who suited up for Richmond in the 2004 season, has been called into camp for the US vs. England friendly on May 28.

Vancouver’s Jason Jordan had a whopping four goals in the Whitecaps 4-0 rout of Charleston on Sunday. Why, that’s as many as some teams! Not surprisingly, he was named Player of the Week.

Interesting Matchups: The best will be happening right before your very eyes, as the rest of the league holds its breath, waiting to see how badly Montreal pummels the Rhinos (and who gets ejected). Atlanta travels out west (Seattle and Vancouver), while Minnesota heads south (Richmond and Virginia Beach) in what should prove to be a perfect example of why East teams are better than West teams.

Weird numbers of the week: Rochester and Montreal have never played in May. How is that even possible? Here’s some more, though it’s more irritating than weird:

Just wondering: How pissed off are people going to be when the first goal is scored during ESPN’s “Side-by-Side” gimmick? I like Michael Ian Black and Sierra Mist commercials as much as the next guy, but sheesh…

Weekly trivia: Which Rhinos player has earned the most points against Montreal over the last two seasons?

Answers next week. And, no – we don’t have anything to give away to people who know the correct response. Last week's answer was Ian Fuller and Lenin Steenkamp.

Current Rhinos*:	0.300 Points per Match
Ex-Rhinos*:	0.386 PPM