RHINO DROPPINGS

Last time out: What a difference a couple of weeks makes. RD turns its back for a bit, and things have gone all topsy-turvy as the formerly 1-0-4 Rhinos went on a 2-1-0 tear, outscoring opponents 8-4 as it overhauled the core of its team with former players John Ball and Rene Rivas.

Last Friday, Rochester embarrassed a very solid Portland side, 3-1, and the match wasn’t even as close as the score indicated. Take Scott Vallow’s temper (he should have been tossed) out of the equation, and this would have been an impressive, dominating shutout (Portland’s Dan Antoniuk netted another penalty kick the following night in a 1-0 win over Toronto – the Timbers’ third straight match with a converted PK).

And how about that 0-0 draw in Montreal? In Montreal! I always thought Rochester had a deal worked out with the Impact (kind of like the agreement George Costanza thinks we have with the pigeons): You win at your place, and we’ll win at our place. Consider that treaty un-ratified! The Impact have won five of their last nine in Rochester, and now the Rhinos have done the unthinkable by beating (errrr...or at least drawing) Montreal at their own game and taking away two gimme points at the Claude.

You want Kirk Wilson facts? Hold onto your hats. Wilson’s last two performances have resulted in two game-winning goals and a trippy 5+1=11 scoring formula. He had a goal and assist against Portland last year, making him 3+2=8 in two matches against the Timbers. Wilson also went 2+1=5 last June, with another GWG, making him 4+2=10 over his last eight June matches. Additionally, Wilson became Rochester’s first Player of the Week since Ian Fuller won the honor in mid 2003. But let’s not forget about the scoring lines for unsung heroes J. Bo (1+2=4) or Team of the Week-er Frankie SanFillippo (1+1=3) over the last two games.

The Rhinos look much stronger with Ball and Rivas (they played together indoors) in the lineup, and without Anthony Rougier playing up top. Not sure if we’re totally feeling Jason Perry, though. If the slashing Mauro Carabajal could start every match, this team would be tough to stop.

Next up: The mangy Lynx slink into town for a Friday night contest at Frontier that shouldn’t be much of a contest at all. Toronto is still winless, and hasn’t scored a victory in Rochester since Bill Clinton was president (May 6, 2000). The Rhinos have won 11 straight home matches against the Lynx, and boast a 15-0-2 lifetime record against Toronto while playing at Frontier. Toronto hasn’t won away from home since July 25, 2004, and only managed to do so three times last season (including wins over dynamos like Puerto Rico and Calgary). What else:

- Toronto’s Rumba Munthali is on the verge of becoming the first USL-1 player to get suspended for yellow card accumulation, so he should be on his best behavior (if that’s even possible)

- Rochester has scored 20 goals against Theo Zagar in last 10 games they’ve faced him (let’s hope he’s recovered from his injury!)

Additionally, Toronto has four starters that weren’t with the team three weeks ago. Wait a second…Ball…Rivas…okay, Rochester only has two. Whew! The arrival of Edgar Bartolomeu, Nigel Henry, and even the ever-diminutive Robbie Aristodemo, make this Lynx squad slightly more formidable, but they’re still going to go down like Kelsey Grammer at a lecture.

Re: Friday Night Frenzies at Frontier – is there a way we can have either a live band in the courtyard or the crappy music on the PA system? The combination of both will probably sterilize at least two generations of Rhinos fans. And while you’re at it, can somebody maybe blow the air horn on the field when you want the players to come off the pitch at the end of the warm-up session? Blowing it over the PA is as frighteningly loud as it is frighteningly unnecessary, not to mention frighteningly misguided. Speaking of the PA, how about making of list of the pre-recorded commercials that are too loud and adjusting their volume before you press the play button? It’s the same commercials every game. This ain’t brain surgery, folks. Act now, or RD is going to start bringing a decibel sound meter and sending reports to the Department of Health, the EPA, the ASCAP, the ASPCA, and the NAACP.

Tail of the Tape

0-4-7

Record

3-1-4

0-3-4 (away)

2-0-1 (home)

1.09

GFA

1.63

0.72 (away)

2.34 (home)

2.09

GAA

1.38

1.72 (away)

1.34 (home)

<1.00>

Goal Differential

0.25

<1.00> (away)

1.00 (home)

1 loss

Streak

2 wins

1 draw (away)

1 win (home)

0-4-6

Last 10 matches

3-1-6

0-4-6 (away)

5-2-3 (home)

1-1-6

Head-to-Head*

6-1-1

0-0-4 (away)

4-0-0 (home)

5-3-9

June Record*

8-0-1

2-2-5 (away)

6-0-1 (home)

3-1-8

Friday Record*

10-5-7

2-1-6 (away)

8-4-3 (home)

1-1-3

June/Friday Record*

2-0-0

1-1-3 (away)

2-0-0 (home)

* - since 2003

Where have you gone, Andy Restrepo? Corey Woolfolk scored in his third straight game: A 1-1 draw against visiting Minnesota (and Hugo got the boot!)

Pat Onstad and the injury-plagued Earthquakes shut out the hapless DC United side, for which John Wilson made his debut.

Gabe Gervais has been called into camp for the Canadian National Team, along with five other Impact players.

Here’s the latest installment of the completely unpopular Current Rhinos vs. Ex-Rhinos:

Around the (A-)League: Chris Carrieri and his Richmond Kickers took a surprising 2-0 home thumping to Minnesota, who picked up a pair of wins and a draw during a three-match swing through the South. Minnesota also toppled a suddenly-struggling Atlanta club, losers of three straight. Aaron Paye scored three goals for the Thunder, who were without the services of usual starters Michael Wilson (New Zealand National Team) and Kevin Friedland (knee injury).

Montreal is officially leading the league in attendance, topping Rochester by nearly 1,500 fans (10,975 to 9,487). Both home matches for the Impact were 0-0 draws, and the team is currently enjoying a 19-day break from the USL-1 schedule. Good thing, since their roster was ravaged by national team call-ups (Gervais, Adam Braz, Patrick Leduc, Mesut Mert, Ali Gerba, and Andrew Oliveiri).

Former Rhinos draft pick Matthew Delicâte made the Team of the Week for the fourth time in 2005.

MLS roundup: John Wolyniec was traded to Columbus for former scoring sensation Ante Razov. RD thinks the Crew got the best of that trade, but it won’t turn them into an overnight contender.

Everyone’s favorite hack, Kansas City captain Henry “Crybaby” Gutierrez has three yellow cards in his first six starts. The thug would probably have more, but a knee injury has kept him out of a bunch of matches.

Would anyone else, if permitted by law, marry the MLS Direct Kick package? Hey, get in line, pal!

Interesting Matchups: Ex-Kicker David Hayes and his Atlanta Silverbacks will travel to Richmond to take on ex-Silverback Ronnie Pascale and his Richmond Kickers (huh?) for a battle to determine which team is the King of the South. You know, because it sure isn’t Virginia Beach. There are only five USL-1 matches scheduled for the seven days, presumably to give America a chance to see The Honeymooners in its opening week. Because it looks totally awesome, doesn’t it?

Weird numbers of the week: Pat Ercoli played more minutes for the Rhinos than recently-released Ryan Hall. Goodbye, Ryan – we hardly knew ye! Quite literally, actually.

Weekly trivia: Fred Commodore scored three goals against Toronto in a 6-1 romp on July 4, 2003. Who scored the other three goals for the Rhinos?

Answers next week. And, no – we don’t have anything to give away to people who know the correct response. Last week's answer was Doug Miller.

Current Rhinos*:	0.450 Points per Match (up 0.150)
Ex-Rhinos*:	0.309 PPM (down 0.077)