RHINO DROPPINGS

July 27, 2005

You might have thought it was an off-week for the whole Can-The-PA thing, but the RD Utility Muffin Research Kitchen was still quite busy even though there was no soccer being played at Frontier Field (or, one could argue, in the state of Virginia).  We sent our staff to Saturday's "exciting" Red Wings game to see if a typical baseball contest was as deafeningly loud as a Rhinos match.  We sat within about 10 feet of our usual seats, and after the high of seeing a triple play wore off, we wiped the drool off our chins, shook our bodies awake, went home, and made the following graph:

Do you know what this means?  There's actually a knob labeled "volume" somewhere in that PA booth!  And here we were, sitting around like a bunch of chimps, thinking things were permanently set at 11.

Since soccer and baseball are such radically different games, it was tough to compare the two in any kind of conventional head-to-head manner (aside from the above graph).  There aren't any interruptions in baseball because there is so little action in baseball.  For the Red Wings , the only thing that came close to the eardrum-shattering levels we regularly experience for soccer came from Fred Costello's organ (and that's not nearly as dirty as it sounds).  It was, by far, the loudest part of the baseball experience, even though it breached 90 decibels (dBA) just once.  You know, as opposed to 64 times at the most recent Rhinos match?  Nothing came close to, say, blowing an air horn into the microphone, or Halftime Prick Guy.

Also of note -- the ambient crowd noise for baseball and soccer was exactly the same, so nobody can make the argument that volume levels for the Rhinos are higher because soccer fans make more noise than the average Red Wings crowd.  And before anyone starts with that weak "They don't have bleachers in right field for baseball, so the volume needs to be higher for soccer" theory, please remember that nobody in the bleachers can hear the PA.  The only thing cranking the volume accomplishes is deafening the fans near the godless speakers.  For the record, the announced crowd at the baseball game was slightly higher than the Rhinos' 2005 average attendance, so you can't blame the lower levels on the presence of less fans, either.

The Red Wings folks also managed to keep their noise levels very consistent for the entire nine-inning extravaganza (read: way longer than soccer).  Things didn't get louder and louder as the game progressed, or when the team needed to put together a rally, unlike the crazy spikes at the Rhinos match on July 15 (see graphs here).

This brings up a ton of questions, but we'll restrain ourselves and ask just one: Who is actually in control of the volume knob?  We know the Rhinos are working on the problem, but saying that makes it sound like they have to machete their way through a dense jungle without the aid of natives familiar with the lay of the land.  It's right there.  In the booth.  It's probably even labeled.  Just turn it counter-clockwise.

What do you think?  Make sure your voice is heard by posting your comments on rhinosfan.com, the Rhino Pit email group, or by calling or emailing the Rhinos.

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