They say retailers keep pushing Christmas on us earlier and earlier every year (I went to a drug store recently, more than a week before Halloween, and was shocked to see them already moving the Halloween junk out in favor of the Christmas junk), but when the year's only Christmas-themed film is being released while your ankle-biters are still suffering from All Hallows Eve hangovers, you know things have really gone too far.  The Santa Clause 2, a sequel to the mysteriously beloved 1994 film that grossed over $140 million, is a G-rated family extravaganza that wasn't nearly as horrible as I thought it would be.  Granted, my expectations were about as low as the box office take for Madonna's Swept Away.

Most of SC2's plot, which one could almost call Attack of the Clones 2, seems tailor-made for Tim Allen to pull a Mike-Myers-style dual-performance, a la Austin Powers and Dr. Evil.  Once again, Allen (Big Trouble) plays Scott Calvin, who, in the original version, accidentally kills Santa Claus and, because of some legal mumbo-jumbo, becomes contractually obligated to fill the fat, jolly bastard's shoes.  When we first see Scott here (after a mildly funny opening involving the North Pole going up to Elfcon 1), he's in the midst of whipping his elves into a pre-Christmas toy-producing frenzy. But he's also losing weight - a fact directly related to a "de-Santafication" process.  It seems that the fine print that ultimately led to Scott becoming Santa also says he must find a bride by Christmas Eve (the "Mrs. Clause"), which is just 28 days away.

Meanwhile, Scott is shocked to see his son Charlie's (Eric Lloyd) name on the "naughty" list, which is actually pretty convenient as it allows him to head back to civilization and find a bride while he gets to the bottom of his kid's recent rebellious streak.  Also convenient is the de-Santafication process, which allows Scott to not look like so much of a damn freak while he's out trolling for trim.  Hey, if the icy school principal (Elizabeth Mitchell) threatening to suspend Charlie would just let her hair down and put on some jeans and a fuzzy sweater, she might make a perfect Mrs. Claus.  Her Carol Newman is a cynical bitch who used to love Christmas...until the day her parent's told her St. Nick didn't really exist.  Do you see where this is going?

Back at the North Pole, an opportunistic, by-the-book elf (Spencer Breslin, Disney's The Kid) takes advantage of the Santa-less situation to create a clone (like cloning anybody in any film has ever worked out well).  The Clone Santa, hell-bent on making radical changes to the toy-making process, creates an army of giant toy soldiers who gently convince the elves to discard toys in favor of coal production.  Will Scott be able to find a bride and return to the North Pole in time to save Christmas?  Will Chicken-Dance Elmo be a big seller this year?

While adults will get a kick out of the scene where Scott enlivens a dud of a Christmas party by giving away vintage toys, the kids at my preview screening seemed to enjoy the very cheapest laughs, both literally (the creepy Chuck-E.-Cheese-style animatronics reindeer) and figuratively (when said reindeer farts after eating too much junk food).  Other than a mildly amusing scene depicting a meeting between Santa, Mother Nature (Aisha Tyler), Cupid (Kevin Pollak), the Tooth Fairy (Art LaFleur), the Sandman (Michael Dorn) and Father Time (Peter Boyle, who also played Scott's boss in the first film), there isn't much new or exciting here.  Part of the problem is the many scripts and many re-writes (as many as nine were rumored to work on something that barely requires one).

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