May 28, 2003

Last time out.  The Score made the trek out to Syracuse to see the Rhinos first-ever match against the undefeated Salty Dogs at P&C Stadium, where fans were given tiny little towels to mop up their tiny sick tears after Rochester gave them a good old-fashioned 2-0 neutering in what was both a league match and the first leg of the US Open Cup qualifier.  Is The Score crazy, or does the Syracuse mascot seem like the mangy cousin of short-lived Itchy & Scratchy sidekick Poochie?

It's pretty obvious the folks in Syracuse have studied the Rhinos' success and used it as a template for their franchise, because almost every minute detail seemed oddly familiar.  It's like being in Bizarro World when the PA announcer screams, "Let's do it, Syracuse-style," when, in fact, doing it "Syracuse-style" means doing it just like they do it in Rochester, except not quite as good.  Don't believe me?  Check this out:

+ Their clock counts down instead of up.

+ Their music and PA guy is -- and this is going to be hard to fathom -- louder and more irritating than what we're used to at Frontier.  When their 'keeper made a save, it even sounded like the announcer was shrieking, "Save, Andracki!"

+ Their supporters' group (the Kennel Club...seriously) tries to get the crowd into the match but is instead told to shut up by passive soccer moms. Wait...that happens here, too.

+ Frontier Field is brick and grass, and offers a lovely view of the Rochester skyline.  P&C is concrete and artificial turf, and offers a lovely view of what appears to be one of Syracuse's many proud marshes.

+ The Rhinos play -- for richer or poorer -- 45 minutes every half.  The S-Dogs only go 43 minutes, or at least that's how it seemed because Rochester scored both of their goals in the waning moments of each half.

Doug Miller scored his fifth, and Ian Fuller shattered Jimmy Tanner's team record for falling down, though in Ian's defense, his spills were turf-related, while Jimmy's seemed to be caused by ascoraphobia (fear of getting the ball in front of the goal).  Rhinos broadcaster Don Stevens hated the S-Dogs' kits because it was tough to read the numbers, but The Score loved them because the thick black trim below the necks make them all look like they were sporting mullets.  And what better way to pay tribute to the fine people of the Greater Syracuse area?

Because Rochester won on Friday, it was easy to overlook the fact that they were outplayed for the majority of the match. This wasn't quite as easy to do on Saturday, when the S-Dogs (or SltyDogs, according to the scoreboard -- discuss that amongst yourselves) ran roughshod over Frontier and the Rhinos for a shocking 2-1 win.  If you're wondering who scored for Rochester, nobody did -- it was a blooper-reel own goal, and it happened in the fading moments of the first half as well.  For those of you who are not mathematically challenged, that means the Rhinos advance to the USOC on the aggregate score of both games (3-2); or, in other words, they backed into the Cup on an own goal. Very scary stuff.  When the match highlight is ex-Rhino Mike Kirmse fighting with a ball boy over a towel, you have big problems.

Either this Syracuse team is for real (they're 4-0-1), or the Rhinos are a total mess (they're 3-2-2).  The Score thinks it's probably a little of both, and wants to once again plead for Stoian Mladenov's return to the center of the midfield.  We thought the magic was going to happen when he came in for Temoc Suarez in the second half on Saturday, but Coach Ercoli moved Kirk Wilson into the middle so Mladenov could continue to struggle on the wing.  This is kind of like having Randall Cunningham on your roster and using him as an offensive guard.

Just a quick note to the post-game callers who couldn't believe the awful things ex-Rhinos Kirmse and Tommy Tanner were being called by packs of diehard Rhinos fans:  Get over it.  It's part of the game, and it happens everywhere in every sport that draws decent crowds.  And, for the record, when you say, "I'm all for free speech, but..." and then list the ways you really aren't at all for free speech, you sound really dumb.

Next up.  Rochester heads down to Pittsburgh to face the surprising 3-1-2 Riverhounds this Saturday night.  If you're interested in making the trip with The Safari, go to their site (www.rhinossoccer.com/safari) for more information.  Pittsburgh, who just destroyed the (formerly?) mighty Richmond Kickers in USOC qualifying (5-0 aggregate), is lead by league-leading scorer Thiago Martins (6+2=14), Corey Woolfolk (3+0=6) and Ricardo Villar (2+0=4). After blowing both of last weekend's games, The Score will redeem itself here by predicting a 2-1 loss for Rochester...unless Mladenov plays in the middle.

Speaking of the Cup.  It's official -- aside from the USASA, the following clubs are in:  Chicago, Colorado, Columbus, Dallas, New England, Los Angeles, San Jose, Kansas City (all entering in the fourth round 8/6), DC United, the MetroStars, Seattle, Milwaukee, Minnesota, Virginia Beach, Pittsburgh, Rochester, El Paso and Atlanta (all entering in the third round 7/16), Long Island, Reading, Wilmington, New Hampshire, Carolina, Utah (all entering in the second round 6/25), Des Moines, Fresno, Bradenton, Chesapeake, Raleigh and Mid-Michigan (entering in the first and second rounds 6/4-8).  The odds are pretty even the Rhinos will play either another A-League team or a lower-level side, but there is a 13% chance they'll face DC or the Metros first.

Where have you gone, Andy Restrepo?  Eduardo Sebrango got his first-ever assist as a member of the Impact, supporting Mauro Biello's goal in the team's 2-1 road win against Richmond last Friday.  On Saturday, Montreal traveled to Virginia Beach, where Martin Nash doled out an assist in the 1-1 draw.  Ex-Rhino Sean Michael Callahan found the back of the net in Seattle's 2-2 draw in Vancouver.

MLS update.  Scott Vallow rode the pine again for Colorado on Sunday while Scott Garlick let in four against Chicago.  It's only a matter of time before Vallow moves back up into the #1 spot, but it won't really make a lick of difference until the Rapids upgrade their defense.  They've allowed less than two goals only once this year, and have comfortably settled into the MLS basement with a dismal 0-1-5 mark.  Pat Onstad and his terrifying San Jose side did not play this past weekend but will face the Fire this Saturday afternoon on ESPN2.

Around the A-League.  As surprisingly good as Syracuse is, is there a bigger shock than the downfall of the Richmond Kickers? They're 2-1-4 and couldn't even score against Pittsburgh in its USOC series.  Reminds The Score of Minnesota in 2001.

Kudos to former A-Leaguer and current San Jose starter Brian Ching, who was called up to the US National Team in Monday's friendly against Wales, as well as current Richmond Kicker David Testo, who saw action with the U-23 nationals last week.  Boos to Philippe Godoy, the 2001 A-League First Team member with Milwaukee, who was released by Cincinnati last week for entering the field in street clothes to take part in a fight.  A lot of Rhinos fans are booing Henry Ring's decision to abandon Rochester, but it wasn't because of a lack of playing time here -- it was due to an injury to Chicago 'keeper Zach Thornton. Ring did see action against the Rapids this past weekend.

Read the last issue of The Score here.