She’s the Man, the latest vehicle for we’re-going-to-keep-shoving-her-down-your-throat-so-you’d-might-as-well-embrace-her star Amanda Bynes, is a modernized version of Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night.  Tell your ‘tweener that you’re taking her to see Shakespeare, and you’ll probably get pelted with a Sidekick II.  Tell her that you’re taking her to see a movie where Bynes dresses as a boy and pretends to get whacked in the nuts, and you’ll be a hero.

There isn’t a whole lot of subtlety here: Bynes is Viola, a soccer player who flips her lid when her school cancels the extracurricular program.  Instead of rolling over, Viola goes to a neighboring prep school, where she pretends to be her twin brother, Sebastian.  Though somewhat gifted as a physical comedienne, in Bynes’ world, acting like a boy means you talk like a cross between Adam Sandler in The Waterboy and someone with a learning disability.  Her character becomes more and more annoying as Man progresses.

Another glaring issue is that, as Sebastian, Bynes look like she’s about 13.  Her teammates and dorm brothers all appear to be about 10 years older.  It’s a laughable distraction, and there are many more in Man, but far be it from me to tear apart a movie that features not only posters of Eddie Gaven and Frank Lampard, but a small role from legendary nut-twister Vinnie Jones.  Even if David Cross logs in yet another embarrassing performance.

Man was directed by Andy Finkman, who you might remember as the helmer of the musical version of Refeer Madness.  Or maybe not.  The film was written by a trio of screenwriters, two of which penned the far superior Shakespeare update, 10 Things I Hate About You.

1:45 – for some sexual material