What in the world happened to Lasse Hallström?  After making a name for himself with cool, edgy films like My Life as a Dog and What's Eating Gilbert Grape, the Swedish director helmed the commercial flop Something To Talk About and has churned out three adaptations of popular novels released over as many Decembers.  The first – John Irving's The Cider House Rules – was a beautiful gem, but Hallström's two follow-ups – Joanne Harris' Chocolat and his latest, E. Annie Proulx's Pultitzer-winning The Shipping News – are disappointments.  Neither are bad, mind you - just disappointing, especially with the requisite Miramax -fueled Oscar hype attached to each.

Perhaps the adaptations are to blame, as Irving did his own for Cider House and Robert Nelson Jacobs penned the screen versions of Chocolat and News (his only previous credits were Dinosaur and Out to Sea, so he's no Shakespeare).  Maybe we should be blaming the studio, which seems to be following the same successful blueprint every year (secure rights to book for Hallström, cast with big stars, release on Christmas Day and buy enough trade ads to ensure multiple Oscar nominations).

News kicks off in Upstate New York, where a doughy man named Quoyle (Kevin Spacey, K-Pax) literally watches life fly past him as an ink setter for The Poughkeepsie News.  One morning, quite accidentally, Quoyle crosses paths with a live wire named Petal (Cate Blanchett, Bandits), and his life is changed by one vulgar yet simple sentence uttered by the high-strung woman – "It's 8:05. I think I'm going to fuck you by 10:00."  Prophetically, she does, and nine months later she squirts out a kid named Bunny who Quoyle is pretty much forced to raise on his own (a la I Am Sam) while Petal becomes a floozy bar whore.

Some mildly surprising things happen, leading Quoyle and Bunny to relocate to a tiny fishing village in Newfoundland where they take up residence with his aunt Agnis (Judi Dench, Chocolat) in a rundown home owned by their ancestors.  Like Chocolat, everyone in town is a colorful character, but each is also hiding something dark that happened in their past (sadly, none of it is at all exciting).  Most also have silly names and dead mates, usually killed by the unforgiving sea.  Quoyle has water issues, so the deadly element is an important character in News.

Quoyle meets and falls in love with the owner of the town's daycare (Julianne Moore, Evolution) and tries to get a job as an ink setter at the local newspaper (called The Gammy Bird), but they want him to cover area auto accidents and the shipping news.  His co-workers (including Rhys Ifans and Pete Postlethwaite) are quirky, and his boss (Scott Glenn, Training Day) is having a feud with his only son (Jason Behr, Roswell) over a fishing license, of all things.  Even Bunny starts acting strange, acquiring some kind of special powers like The Shining's Danny Torrance (it's got to have something to do with moving to a cold, isolated place).

And then News ends.  There isn't really much else to say.  The film looks nice, with some beautifully rough photography from Cider House's Oliver Stapleton (you can practically taste the salt water).  Everyone who tries, with the possible exception of Moore, does a great job handling the Newfoundland accents.  But there just isn't much happening here, other than some foreshadowing as subtle as a dump truck in a minefield.

2:00 -

for some language, sexuality and disturbing images