Pierce Brosnan (Tomorrow Never Dies) plays Thomas Crown, an art-loving multimillionaire who spends his time plotting the perfect heist. Like the original, most of the film’s first half-hour is devoted to the theft of a valuable painting from a museum (originally just over $2 million, but here a $100 million Monet). Catherine Banning (Rene Russo, Lethal Weapon 4) is an insurance agent for the museum and, together with NYPD detective Michael McCann (Denis Leary, True Crime), immediately suspects Crown and tries to mount her case against him. The trouble is that somewhere along the line, Banning mounts more than her case.

Casting-wise, the suave and debonair Brosnan is a much better choice than McQueen, but Russo is downright horrible in Dunaway’s role. She looks awful and acts even worse. Leary seems lost as the cop and the film could have used more of his sarcastic spunk. The score never really seemed to fit the picture, and viewers will have a hard time connecting with any of the characters. Those responsible for the updated script include Leslie Dixon (the abominable That Old Feeling) and Kurt Wimmer (Sphere). Of other note, viewers should now know to be wary of any film that prominently displays a bowler hat (remember The Avengers?).

Alan Trustman’s original screenplay (he also wrote the superior McQueen vehicle Bullitt) may have seemed invigorating in 1968, but today seems as stale as a cardboard pizza with felt pepperoni – especially since we all recently suffered through a very similar cat-and-mouse chase in Entrapment. The original, directed by Norman Jewison (Moonstruck), was shot by the legendary Haskell Wexler (Limbo) and included the use of what I like to call Brady Bunch windows – several smaller multi-image screens that make up the entire frame. Also look for Dunaway, who plays Crown’s shrink in the updated version.

1:55 - for nudity, some sexuality and language