This film version of William Shakespeare’s oft-overlooked first tragedy is a glorious mess.  Titus, based on the Bard’s Titus Andronicus, is an audacious, frantic jumble of images cobbled together like a music video, and the result is a bit like The Fifth Element – a highly enjoyable picture that seems way too over-the-top for its own good.  But Element had the common sense to wrap things up around the two-hour mark, while the meatier Titus keeps you in the theatre for another thirty-plus minutes.

Titus opens with one of the year’s more amazing scenes.  The film begins with a child playing with plastic action figures in his kitchen.  The boy, who has a paper bag over his head, proceeds to pick a food fight with his toys as the room explodes and a strange man bursts in to transport the boy to ancient Rome.  It seemed more suited to a scene from Terry Gilliam’s Time Bandits than a Shakespeare film, but that’s just the point – this isn’t your typical Shakespeare film.

Once transported, the boy watches as Roman soldiers return home from battle with the Goths.  The scene is amazingly choreographed, as the soldiers march into the center of town caked with mud that makes them look like statues.  It’s probably fifteen minutes before any dialogue is spoken – and it’s taken verbatim from Shakespeare’s play.  If you find it hard to follow, don’t let it scare you off.  It will begin to make sense, and the ending alone is worth a sore ass.

Titus Andronicus (Anthony Hopkins, Instinct) is the general of the Roman Army, and the country expects the warrior to fill the position of Emperor upon his return.  Titus declines and throws his support to the son of the previous ruler, Saturninus (Alan Cumming, the voice of the Devil in God, The Devil and Bob), over his brother and rival Bassianus (James Frain, Reindeer Games).  Saturninus’ first duty is to choose a wife, and he picks Bassianus’ fiancée Lavinia (Laura Fraser, Cousin Bette), who refuses to marry the new Emperor.  For a second choice, Saturninus drafts Tamora (Jessica Lange, Cousin Bette), the former Queen of the recently defeated Goths, as his concubine.

Tamora, whose eldest son Alarbus was sacrificed to the Romans, is hell-bent on revenge and eagerly accepts the role of Empress.  She brings along her black lover Aaron the Moor (Harry J. Lennix, Get on the Bus) and two wicked sons, Demetrius (Matthew Rhys) and Chiron (Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Ride With the Devil).  The sons are both after Lavinia, while Aaron has schemes of his own cooking.  The boy, who we learn is the son of Titus’ son Lucious (Peter Gabriel lookalike Angus MacFadyen, Cradle Will Rock), watches things develop as sort of a surrogate audience.

Writer/director Julie Taymor, who recently directed the award-winning Broadway hit The Lion King, has her actors deliver their soliloquies directly into the camera, using extreme close-ups.  But that’s far from the only unique stamp Taymor puts on Titus.  Like the recent adaptation of Richard III with Sir Ian MacKellen, this film has its way with time.  One moment, it’s Caesar’s Rome and the next it’s World War II Italy.  The film also features some very modern sounding music, and many of the characters sport tattoos.  And, Lord, is this film gruesome!  But despite all of the gore, the more gruesome scenes are strongly implied, instead of being shown on the screen.

As good as the acting is in Titus (Hopkins’ role seems like a warm-up for his next turn as Hannibal Lecter), the real stars are the art/production/costume designers.  Taymor’s crew features a bevy of Oscar winners and nominees that have worked on films like Kundun, Dune, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Chariots of Fire and Barry Lyndon.  Sadly, only Milena Canonero was recognized by the Oscars for her incredible costumes.  I would have given her the trophy from the first scene alone.

Titus is the second major accomplishment from a stage-turned-film director this year, after Sam Mendes’ (The Blue Room) critically acclaimed American Beauty.  What would make such successful stage stars run for the hills of Beverly?  I did hear that Kathie Lee was on Broadway.

2:42 -