We all know bad stuff happens under bridges.  It is, after all, where Anthony Kiedis drew some blood because he felt like he didn't have a partner.  Hellgate Bridge in Astoria, Queens, which marks the place where Long Island Sound becomes the Atlantic Ocean, isn't much different, as evidenced by the opening scene of the film that shares its name.  We don't know who Jimmy is when Under Hellgate Bridge reveals he's died of a heroin overdose, but his passing sets off a tragic chain of events that, 90 minutes later, seems to be cut from the same cloth as almost every low-budget mobster film (save Reservoir Dogs) made either in an attempt to ride the coattails of The Sopranos to success or as a creative outlets for artistic gangster-wannabes. 

Jimmy, it turns out, is the younger brother of Bridge's protagonist, Ryan (Another World's Michael Rodrick), who has just been released from prison in time to show up for the funeral.  He's been in the clink for two years, sent up for a crime he never committed.  We learn the ex-junkie Ryan was set up by an aspiring gangster named Vincent (Jonathan LaPaglia), who, in addition to being "brought along" by the neighborhood heavy (Frank Vincent), has also married Ryan's old girlfriend Carla (Jordan Bayne), fathered her child, and, at least indirectly, killed Jimmy.  Vincent also has his fingers into Ryan's other brother – another junkie named Eddie (Brian Vincent). 

What follows is a predictable battle between Ryan and Vincent, culminating in a very stylish shootout, which is, by far, Bridge's highlight.  The film, full of heavy-handed music and a strong religious push, is also exceedingly dark and contains a surprising lack of humor for something that aspires to be Goodfellas.  The no-name acting, which includes two players from The Sopranos (Vincent "Big Pussy" Pastore and Dominic "Uncle Jew" Chianese, Jr.), is pretty decent, while cinematographer Leland Krane makes Bridge look like a film with more than a $1 million budget. 

The problem is with writer/director Michael Sergio's been-there/done-that script.  Other than the finale, most of the story is as predictable as they come (and the climax was only surprising because it was so much better than the rest of the somber picture).  Could I have done better with a tiny budget? Probably not, but don't be snowed into thinking it's the second coming of Mean Streets. 

If Sergio has done one thing well, it's his sales pitch for Bridge.  I screened the film as part of the Sarasota Film Festival and stuck around for a Q&A session with Sergio and a few members of his cast when the film was over (mostly because I was in the back row and hate trying to sneak out in front of the people who poured their time and money into a film I didn't particularly care for).  When the Q&A thing was finished, Sergio and the Bridge's other talent strategically placed themselves at the theatre's exits, so that nobody would be able to get out of the place without being personally thanked and/or touched in some friendly way by somebody associated with the film (believe me – I tried).  Something seems really wrong with that sort of thing.

1:30 –

for language, violence and strong sexual content, including rape